Fire Drill Boner (Stuart Collier, 2011)

no my friends, this is not a film. however, it is a very intriguing post by Stuart Collier on the Shaq which simply must be examined further. let's start off with the basics of the post: Mr. Collier acquired a boner while sleeping during his Marine Bio class, only to be woken up by a fire alarm. not only did this occur, but due to school rules his shirt had to be tucked in. coincidence? I think not. but we will return to that later. clearly, this boner was initiated by Mr. Collier dreaming of female ass. bored by his class, he decided that he would rather go to sleep and dream of ass rather than suffer through the rest of Marine Bio. back to my point of this being no coincidence. as I hope all readers of this blog are, Mr. Collier is a loyal follower of Shaquille O'Neal. there is no doubt in my mind that Shaq's eternal rival, Kobe Bryant, was notified of Mr. Collier's boner and was responsible for the fire alarm going of in an attempt to embarrass Mr. Collier. thankfully, Mr. Collier doesn't believe that anybody saw his boner and therefore thwarted Bryant's plan.

The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick, 2011)

in case you are unaware, my air conditioner has been broken for the last several days. today it reached a peak of 86 degrees, believed to be the hottest it has ever been in my house. to get away from this terrible indoor heat, my family decided to go to dinner and a movie. I considered not going in the case my friends called me up (which did not happen) but did not want to risk staying in house rest of night so I decided to go. after all, I was going into glorious air conditioning and seeing Tree of Life. we went to some pizza place to eat, and while the air conditioner was solid and no doubt refreshing, it was nowhere near the level of the movie theater. at a perfect 72 degrees, it was the perfect environment to watch a movie. although it never felt too cold, warmth was thankfully nowhere in sight. especially now that I have been informed it will take about two weeks to get a new air conditioner, the temperature of the theater will stick in my mind for a while. simply put, the air conditioning was amazing.

what should I do?

I didn't think it was possible, but I got almost more praised for my previous post as opposed to my City Lights review. one loyal follower of this blog even said my comeback post was better. although I was certainly honored by this, it just pressured me into believing my next post had to be even more epic yet again. so for the past week I have been wondering "what I should do?" so although this entry may not have been as epic as you expected, it is another entry from the mind of the Emperor.

I'm Back

after my masterpiece of a review of City Lights, the world was clamoring for more. unfortunately it sucked out all of my creative juices, and i was forced to take a break from blogging for a while. after a month or so i was able to blog again, but i just didn't know if my review of City Lights could ever be topped. today, i do not seek to outdo myself, but rather i wish to present you with this simple message:

i am back in the world of blogging